What made you understand that the relationship you were toxic?
Toxic relationships risk causing profound inconvenience to the people involved, not limited to the couple but expanding within families and workplaces. They are not necessarily related to insecure individuals who do not know how to react, but strong and independent people can also find themselves in the fierce grip of a toxic relationship.
Individuals, as well as relationships themselves, change and evolve day after day (dating Naples). Some progress, others degenerate. We are never sure how things will turn out and, above all, we cannot know 100% who we have at our side. When habits less adorable than the other begin to show themselves publicly, profound questions also arise to ask.
Some relationships start badly from the beginning, others are based on initial love bombings, promises, and pseudo-amorous actions, which gradually get lost along the way and are replaced by resentment and jealousy. Seeking love is important, even if it too often blinds you. Precisely for this reason, you must keep your eyes open, especially if you already have children, an economic situation of a certain type and you realize that something is missing, and it is precisely the emotional component.
The definition of a toxic relationship
A toxic relationship destroys self-esteem, is an ordeal of unhappiness, and takes you away from the real world. A toxic person will alternate between moments when he seems to give you immense joys and moments when he seems to want to get you out of the way. Toxic relationships don't end immediately, but they go on overtime ... unfortunately. In short, when a relationship is polluted by manipulative attitudes, lies, and malice (veiled or not), this can be defined as 'toxic'.
The signs of the toxic relationship
Toxic behavior exists on a spectrum. All people and all relationships do some of these things quite frequently, and the fact that they don't manifest them all doesn't make them any less harmful.
Here are some of the signs:
- Continuous feeling of discomfort
You fall asleep badly and wake up just as anxious. You look with envy at the other couples who peacefully carry on their life and you get the Magone. You wonder why you haven't had the same luck. The answer is that you have to get rid of the weight while you have time and leave your heavy relationship, even if it's never easy. Better to act now than to stay too long in a relationship that will nullify your will to live and enjoy your strength and courage. Don't feel stuck.
- No effort
When there is no effort on the part of the partner to love you, spend time together, to share the things you care about, the relationship stops making real sense. There comes a point where the only way to answer is in monosyllables. What does it mean?
- The forbidden word: NO
"No" is always an important word, in every area of life. It is our right. You should never delete it from your vocabulary even in the name of love (or what you think is love). Healthy relationships need compromises, but they also respect the needs of both. Communicating what you want and feel is of paramount importance. Anyone who complains about it doesn't love you - a true partner respects your opinion and doesn't just act according to his or her head. If you fear that your saying 'no' will ruin the relationship, then the problem has already been solved and you have gotten the answer you were looking for.
- You're always wrong
One of the glorious things about being human is that you make mistakes. This is how we learn to live. Having shots fired continuously at yourself, even often for no reason, is not an easy thing to hold. Healthy relationships fuel strengths, toxic ones focus on weaknesses, raging mercilessly.
- Physical and psychological abuse.
It can be one or the other, or worse than both. This is the most important signal to be aware of. Report to the competent authorities immediately, as soon as such a serious physical crime occurs. Violence is not forgiven. Although the psychological one is more difficult to identify and interpret, as soon as you are sure you are under the influence of a person with bad intentions, it is advisable to intervene promptly.
- Passive-aggressive partner
Passive-aggressive behavior is an indirect attack and aims to steal your ability to respond openly. The attack is subtle, indirect, masked by indifference as if the actions of the other are underestimated; a passive-aggressive is a villain disguised as a hero because his every gesture is planned and you can feel his scratch but it's not obvious enough to respond to his taunts. This attitude excludes any possibility of confrontation, it leaves you only with a bad taste in your mouth. Right communication should be assertive, as psychologists say.
- A sea of lies
A relationship without trust can turn strong, healthy people into insecure, jealous, and suspicious people. Lying and cheating shatter trust, which is difficult to recover later. When it is too much: we need to know when it is enough. It is not your fault that the trust has been broken, but it is up to you to distance yourself from those who cause you discomfort and do not deserve your help.
Can a toxic relationship be resolved?
Unfortunately, it is difficult for a person to change from one moment to the next. Narcissists, above all, are those who tend to make the atmosphere toxic. An apparent change will never be complete at 360 degrees, but rather serious relapses will be frequent.
Staying in a relationship where the other does not support you, judges you, distances you from friends and family, cannot bring benefits to your life. You will be rather damaged by staying in it.
Better to know someone else than to fight a windmill that could hurt you. Sometimes, the only thing left to do is to go your own way.